HOW TO HAVE CONFIDENCE AS A SINGER and STILL KEEP IT REAL!So, you love to sing. You love music. You have your favorite artists. It feels great to sing. It’s something you enjoy doing—for whatever reason. But, you just don’t quite feel confident about it. People tell you it sounds good when you sing, but you’re not sure if they’re just trying to make you feel better or they are delusional. Deep, deep down, you think you’re a genius, but there is another very skeptical part of you that just doesn’t know for sure, if that is really accurate. And if it is—you’re aware that the notes you think in your head when you sing don’t always come out the way you want them to. You also might still be holding onto a few “vocal wounds” from childhood, when your parent, sibling or friend told you, “You are tone deaf!” or to please, “Be quiet!”
So—now what? Should you get a vocal coach? Maybe let somebody else mold you how they’d like you to sound, with all of their ideas about what true technique and style is? They can fix you right?
Well, there are many people out there who will be happy to try and “fix you,” that’s for sure. They will tell you, “You’re not breathing from your diaphragm!” “You’re singing from your throat,” “This is the proper way to approach a song,” or even be as bold as to name-drop great artists that they are somehow associated with, to make themselves look important and worth your dollar.
Truth is—you do not need ANY FIXING! Your voice is already perfect, and no, you and others are not delusional about your voice. Surprised?
What if you found out that Empowered Singing had more to do with muscle memory (getting great vocal drills and technique that the voice naturally defaults to over time) and what I call “mind memory” (empowering psychology), than anything else? That’s right, the thought patterns that you carry in your head when you sing have a direct result on how your voice sounds. Just think about it for a minute. Do you ever recall a situation when you’re alone singing in your car listening to your favorite music and you know you sound amazing because you’re not trying, and you feel great! You’re open, free and connected.
Next thing you know, you’re with friends and somebody puts you on the spot and asks you to sing.......
You do one of two things. You either say:
1) “No way!” and quickly change the subject.
or
2) “Sure.”
If you chose the first one, it’s simple to recognize that you’re just afraid. Why? Because you don’t want to look like an idiot. “What if I mess up,” you secretly think. Or, “What if I look like those people they show on American Idol who think they sound great, but everybody else thinks they’re awful?”
Okay—let’s say you choose option #2 and you decide to sing.
“Sure,” you say. As you begin to sing, it totally feels different than it was when you were in your car. Your voice feels—smaller, weaker—maybe even shaky. Or maybe just slightly different. It might not sound “bad” but you know you could do better and while you’re singing, you’re thinking, “Oh my gosh! Why do I sound this way?” When you’re done, your friends actually respond in a positive way, but you think they are just being polite.
Now, let’s take response #2 again.
“Sure,” you say.
This time, you have some Integrative Tools under your belt and you naturally put them into immediate action.
Your voice is strong and connected, open, free and sounds just as amazing as it did when you were in your car, and everyone smiles and you knew they felt it—just how you intended. Your soul is satisfied.
Does that last one sound too good to be true?
Not for my students.
It’s the results I hear about EVERY DAY and I’m so happy that after 20 years of studying human psychology, music and theatre, as well as teaching and singing, that I’ve been able to figure out WHAT WORKS FOR SINGERS and ANYBODY WHO USES THEIR VOICE! With all success there must be a System. Mine is called D.I.V.ES. (Dot’s Integrative Vocal Empowerment System)™. You can read about it by clicking here.
Singing with authentic confidence is certainly a process. Some whiz through it, and others take a little longer. But each person that I work with who allows themselves the possibility of vocal empowerment, has a life-changing experience. It changes their life because they discover, with awareness, how amazing they truly are!
I have people come into my studios who can’t sing a note and within 5 minutes of using my system, I have them sounding like a pro. Then they realize they can, and it’s easier for them to integrate their natural sound into their true voice.
I’m going to share a few important FREE TIPS with you to help you find your true voice.
#1. Give yourself permission to be who you are—now.
Not, “After I can sing all the correct pitches.”
Not, “Once I have a 4-octave range,” or “Once my voice stops cracking.”
NOW!!!
Doing this allows your Musical Intelligence (each human’s natural ability to sing freely on the correct pitch, rhythm and tone) to kick in naturally. Ever have a voice teacher tell you “Let go!” You might be thinking, “Let go of what?”
Answer: Let go of the need to control your voice. Don’t Try—Trust.
“Okay, so I let go. I trust my voice. Now what?”
#2. Align it to the “truth” of the pitches you desire!
“WHAT?”
Yeah—does that sound a bit new-age-y? It means: Sing the right note by being connected to your body and resonating with the tone that you feel. You don’t just hear it—you LISTEN WITH YOUR BODY.
Don’t get all “dumb” about it now and shut off your ability to sense and experience sound. Just tune in. You tune in the same way you feel a soft summer breeze, or the sound of the ocean when you’re by the beach. It’s not a “mind” thing. Musical Intelligence is perhaps the only intelligence I know of, that is accessed by soul. It flows freely when the mind TRUSTS it. Even more FREELY when a thought creates a COMFORTABLE place for it to dwell. Just like you’d want to create a comfortable place for a new-born child to dwell. You love it. Yes—the voice responds to that. We all have the natural human desire to be heard, understood and loved. So does our voice. So don’t be so hard on it already!
People sing the wrong notes when they are ignoring their ability to sing the right ones. Many years ago, I used to think they had a “bad ear.” While they were singing the wrong notes, I would stop them and try to make them sing the right note. WRONG MOVE! (beginner voice teachers don’t know better.) Doesn’t help because it has nothing to do with their “ear.” Unless the singer is at a certain level of awareness, this approach is like planting an apple seed, forgetting to water it, and looking for oranges. You won’t find it, but what you will find will not be fruitful. (Pun intended!)
The idea of aligning to pitches is much deeper than just, “Singing the right note.” It’s really about KNOWING your voice and how it feels in your body, and then with the other instruments. Usually the first instrument a singer learns to tune to is the piano or guitar.
But what if you already know how to tune to a piano, and you sound shaky only some of the time? In other words, your voice is inconsistent?
Then you still need practice in the area of aligning to the tone. You go deeper. My “Resonating Vowel Power” and “Ascending Vowel Power” and simple Resonating Exercises on my Practicing with C.O.R.E. Power CD can help anyone build a more deep, solid, powerful tone, while singing the right notes at the same time! This in itself helps a person to love their voice and have fun expressing it. Practicing this gives you useful muscle memory (technique) and mind memory (psychology)! It also warms up the voice at the same time. It’s all about HOW YOU PRACTICE that creates a more CONFIDENT, powerful voice.
So, to summarize, if you don’t feel like a completely confident singer, you can do the following:
1. Imagine yourself singing freely and confidently in front of others.
2. Choose to access the “free voice” (that you allowed yourself to imagine and feel when you were singing alone in your car or shower) as often as possible when you speak to people and when you sing around others.
3. Don’t try, TRUST.
4. Align your entire body with the truth of each note you sing.
Sound simple? Difficult? All I can tell you is—it works and it’s worth it! I have proof. Visit my Testimonials page and read for yourself about what my singers are saying!
These four steps go beyond technique, and are the beginning of discovering a more empowered YOU!
Yes, vocal technique is important. The tools I have given you will enhance your ability to utilize technique and sing with soulful success!
Try integrating one of these tools into your week at a time for a month and give us a call here at Dot’s Voice Studios (310.497.6193) or comment about your experience in our forums!
You are now part of a support team that wants to hear about and experience your singing success!
SEND US YOUR MP3’S, questions, and MORE!
And if you really want one-on-one support, then call 310.497.6193 to schedule private lessons with Dot Todman, Los Angeles’ top Vocal Power Coach.
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