I want to share with you the most common trap that singers fall into and how to overcome it. Interestingly, most people are aware of it, but very few know what do about it, so they continue to repeat a vicious cycle. Can you guess what it is? It is being obsessed with perfection. Of course it's not only singers who fall into this trap Ė we know our culture is inundated with messages about being perfect Ė but when it comes to singing, such behavior can take a real toll on our performance.
What are the results of being perfection-obsessed?
Long Term Results - Self-hatred, bitterness, resentment, stagnancy.
Short Term Results - Feeling stuck, tears, frustration, worry.
Does any of this sound empowering to you?
Even though we know being perfect is not realistic and we say, "nobody's perfect" we secretly hope that we can somehow pull off being perfect anyway. What we donít realize is that itís a trap - and it NEVER EVER WORKS when we hold on to it. Especially when it comes to singing. As a matter of a fact, wanting to be perfect when you sing is the WORST POSSIBLE MISTAKE + TRAP you could ever fall into. Being obsessed with perfection takes us out of the present moment, and somewhere else; a place of stress, anxiety, struggle and fear.
If you suffer from any of the following, it is likely that you too, are obsessed with being perfect:
- Finding yourself starting over a song because you hate how it sounds (you're listening to yourself & what you hate about your voice)
- Noticing that you tend to not always hit the right notes when you sing
- Changing the key of a song while you're singing it acappella
- Pushing through your "break" areas
- Feeling horrible after singing (even if others promise you it wasn't that bad - you don't believe them)
- Recording your music over a zillion times to get it "just right", even though you were "so close!"
- Not wanting to let anyone hear you sing because it might be horrible
- Feeling anxiety, fear or overwhelm right before you sing, or while you're singing
- Delaying your singing career because you think you're not ready or you're "too old"
- Being highly concerned with "doing it right" and being horrified of doing it "wrong" (black & white thinking)
Were you able to relate to any of the above? Are you happy with these issues at hand? Does it make sense that the way you relate to yourself plays a huge role in how you sing? Keeping this in mind, what kind of relationship do you think would be most effective to get positive and powerful results when you sing?
The need to be perfect is destructive to the human soul. How can you ever feel empowered if you are constantly looking at what you're doing wrong, feeling bad about it and micromanaging yourself? Yet teaching voice has taught me that most people think this obsession is the best way to correct problems. There are even teachers who try to force perfection on their students, instead of instigating their natural perfection through inspiration and example. It's great to set high standards, but most people don't know what to do with them. Awareness about the conditional rules and regulations we put on ourselves can help us get out of the most common rut singers find themselves in.
An exercise to achieve your best performance
In the video above, join me in an exercise that can help you overcome the need to be perfect - and SING BETTER because you allowed it to happen. Start with just breathing in positivity. This is likely the exact oppositive of what you have been doing. It makes a difference because you let go of what you want so badly as you exhale, which creates more space within you, to just be who you are. When you let go (of the need to control and be perfect) you'll find your mind becomes more clear, your soul feels more peace and your voice becomes more free. From this place, you're most likely to find your CORE VOICE!
Do you want to learn how to overcome what's holding back your empowered voice, among a supportive small group of singers? Click here to learn more.