Though I have always been a musically expressive person, when I ﬁrst heard about the
chakras, I actually did not believe they were real. The idea of having seven major points
that governed certain organs in my body, radiating different colors and notes, and spinning
clockwise when in balance seemed a bit strange to me. It was not taught to me in school (as
it is to children in India) and seemed irrelevant, so I went on with my life and just thought
the man with the rainbow along his spine was some strange “New Agey” thing.
Our western world is quite focused on teaching us external things, such as how to go out
and earn this diploma and that job, and get that dream house and vacation. We were
taught at a young age, that there are levels, and some of us are “better” than others. In
school we were judged, and our inner value oftentimes was based on a letter in the
alphabet. Eventually, most of us stopped playing those fun artistic games we enjoyed as a
child, and learned to become part of “the real world” having to prove ourselves worthy.
Soon the world became a much more serious place and there were expectations and more
important roles placed on us. We were taught to be tough and that it is not always safe to
show others how we really feel. Somehow now, as adults, we are left, wondering why
when we open our mouth to express our singing voice, (which is directly connected to our
feelings and emotions,) we feel vulnerable and exposed. Could it possibly be that it has
something to do with the fact that we were never taught how to feel safe in our inner world,
because when we sing, we’re having to share something from inside of us and bring it into
the outer world that judges and doesn’t want to know how we really feel. And where on
earth does one practice how to feel safe expressing how we really feel? Acting class?
Possibly - but many choose to hide behind their characters. When we sing, because singing
is sustained pitch, we prolong our vibration and actually send out a signal that is easier for
others to interpret, than if we were speaking. This is why it’s so easy for people to judge singers - when even those judges have no training. When we speak, our words can fool people, but singing is deeply
connected to the energy of our soul, and energy never lies. Therefore to sing is the most
vulnerable of all art forms - if one does not understand their inner world.
understanding my chakras, or my inner world, could help me feel more connected as a
person, and in turn, I could sing from an empowered place?
Do you remember when you
were little and you would sing at the top of your lungs and just enjoyed the sound of your
voice? Your inner world was free and had no wounds yet. Your chakras were balanced and
beaming as you allowed yourself to just be YOU!
WHAT ARE CHAKRAS?
We have chakras all over our body, but most of us stop seeing them after infant hood.
Chakras are the name we give for the energy, or electrical life force which expresses our internal world. The word chakra means “wheel or disc” and although we have many, I will be sharing with you a brief overview of the seven major chakras and how they relate to singing. When balanced and in alignment, each of these “wheels of light” spin clockwise and are known to radiate different colors. My third-eye was surprisingly opened by a Chi-Kung Healer in 1997. That experience in itself could be a novel as it lasted intensely for three days of me being able to see EVERYTHING in every soul. Since I do not have time to elaborate in this article, I will say, however, that this powerful experience led me to later research more about the chakras and opened my eyes to understanding my inner-world. Learning about chakras helped me heal my deep personal issues which included:
- feeling emotionally drained after people unloaded on me
- feeling very sensitive to other people’s energy
- being a complete empath, even while watching movies
- not having a solid sense of my personal identity
- feeling like no one really understood me
- intuitively knowing how other people felt about themselves... but I took it personally
- having my voice change depending who I was around
- having unresolved deep seated grief and pain surrounding my birth and adoption
- feeling like an outcast
- knowing I wanted to do something great, but not knowing where to start. (I was overwhelmed with all my gifts and most of the time, felt like I was on the verge of tears.)
Outwardly, I was in complete denial. I thought I was happy, and that I had a few issues and
that I was dealing with them. However, as soon as I was triggered, I would downward spiral and all of my issues would come up. Sometimes singing triggered my issues! I could hide it fairly well, but it resulted in a very awkward feeling for myself and everyone around me.
My soul ached to heal the world, but internally, I was the one who needed the healing. Singing was an outlet for me, and I had accomplished a lot in my career, but I did not feel 100% safe in my own voice and it was inconsistent. Deep down I wondered if it was some sort of ﬂuke that I had been so successful as a singer. “Maybe all those people are delusional and somehow I found a way to trick them,” I wondered, yet in contrast, if anyone said anything negative about my voice, it stung so deeply I couldn’t even handle it. What I know now, but did not know then, was that each of the issues I had were related to my “inner world” (chakras) which got tapped into when I sang. The authentic power behind my voice related to how I felt about myself and how I saw the world. In contrast, part of why expressing our voice can feel so good is because it actually helps move energy through our “inner world” and makes it audible in the outer world: a very deep, yet empowering process, if done with the right kind of tools. Sadly, most people don’t have the tools. I didn’t. I actually didn’t see much of a connection with chakras and singing at all before 2007. I had read Louise Hay’s, “You Can Heal Your Life” and knew each of the 7 chakras corresponded to speciﬁc psychological components and also vowel sounds, but I had never personally experienced the power of actual vowels in my body. What I had experienced move through my body was attributed to the power of singing in Church, where I could feel completely free and express through my soul. I did not connect this to chakras at all nor did I have any reason to, even after my third eye opened.
HOW I DISCOVERED MY CORE VOCAL POWER
In 2007, I experienced something that changed my life forever. Laying alone in the Cancer Unit of a dark, musty hospital room, (yes, they thought I was dying of cancer) after three solid days of darkness, pain, and pure physical, emotional and spiritual hell, (we won’t go into detail, but I was very ill) I was in for something I had no idea would eventually empower me. If the intense suffering I had already endured wasn’t enough, following this, I nearly died from doctors making a major error during a simple laparoscopy. I refused the surgery initially because I had a bad feeling about it, but when I became too weak to resist, I gave in. During the procedure, they nicked my bowel and had to open me to repair this, and also bruised my intestines in the process. I was left with 36 staples and an 8 inch scar along my stomach. I had weighed a mere 100 lbs. I had very little muscle function and had to learn how to walk, eat, breathe (build back my lung capacity) and pretty much do everything again, including sing. Again - this experience could be made into a movie, but I’m going to attempt to condense.